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Man-U v Ivan-O
 (Newspaper Headline... 7-7-2000… 'New Attack on Castle by Vandals')

Immortalised by Roger Moore,
Oh… and Sir Walter Scott,
The castle is again under attack…
Siege-towers rumble forward,
Creaking like arthritic dinosaurs,
The sky whispers a torrent,
Iron, rocks and burning tar,
Aerobatic swarms of arrows snicker,
Plunging into bone and flesh,
Horses scream; men topple and die,
Pleading, whimpering, shrieking…
New millennium,
New marauders…
Not flaxen-haired giants,
Who just missed the long-ships,
By some nine hundred years,
Spawn of Eric Bloodaxe,
But crop-headed youths,
Baseball caps, T-shirts and trainers,
Proclaim the crusade of commerce,
They come with bricks and bottles,
A load of aerosols…
Time to bring out the boiling oil. 

-Peter Flint, July 2000